Nyaniso Dzedze is enjoying fatherhood.
The actor shared a picture of him and his daughter on his Instagram timeline when he was in the Eastern Cape. “Went home again this year to the Eastern Cape, the land of my forefathers. It’s going to be a frequent affair for me it seems. And as usual, it’s me and my fighter,” he captioned the post.
“How a person listens to my daughter (or not) tells me so much about the relationship they have with their own internal voice. Alatha doesn’t have formulated words in her mouth, but she talks. Loud and clear. She always has.
“I’ve spent years learning to first, hear my own internal voice, and second, respect it. Nyaniso too. This internal journey has made way for a deep listening in our parenting. The mechanism we use to connect to our own intuitive voice is the same we use to connect to our daughter’s.”
Yana described her parenting experience as letting her child be herself.
“We asserted the need to respect Alatha’s voice, taught relatives how to to listen to her and scooped our little one into our arms to say, ‘You keep using your voice baby girl, we’re sorry some people don’t yet know how to listen. Keep using your yes and no. We hear you and we’re so proud’.”
How a person listens to my daughter (or not) tells me so much about the relationship they have with their own internal voice.
Alatha doesn’t have formulated words in her mouth, but she talks. Loud and clear. She always has.
I’ve spent years learning to firstly hear my own internal voice, and secondly, respect it. Nyaniso too. This internal journey has made way for a deep listening in our parenting.
The mechanism we use to connect to our own intuitive voice is the same one we use to connect to our daughter’s.
When I was pregnant, I’d ask her what she wants to eat. Sometimes she asked for oats. I didn’t want oats, I wanted egg. So I dished up a half portion of oats, a half portion of egg, and ate both.
Sometimes we come across people who can hear her, but don’t respect her yes and no. They override her boundaries. Insist on giving her a kiss when she doesn’t want to be kissed or push to get her attention when she’s focused elsewhere.
When this happens, I understand that my daughter is being met by someone who *can* likely hear their own inner voice, but don’t know how to respect it.
No matter how well intended the action, if respect isn’t present, love cannot flow.
Yesterday we were with family. Aunties and Gogos. Cousins and friends. We got to meet a variety of moments. Some that held Alatha with deep listening, others that didn’t.
And in those moments, when her voice was over ridden and her boundaries were pushed, I felt proud of how Nyaniso and I responded.
We asserted the need to respect Alatha’s voice, taught relatives how to to listen to her, and scooped our little one into our arms to say, “You keep using your voice baby girl, we’re sorry some people don’t yet know how to listen. Keep using your yes and no. We hear you and we’re so proud.”
This is where conversations about consent and self worth begin. Long before the “age of consent.” Now. Her wife wrote
